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Literature Text
Your spirit thrills, terrifies,
sudden and close as lightning.
I tremble to think you might strike,
hair on end, nerves sparking.
When you hit, I am charred with delight.
sudden and close as lightning.
I tremble to think you might strike,
hair on end, nerves sparking.
When you hit, I am charred with delight.
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Comments4
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First and second stanza are great, strong and catching. Really love the second part. The last line was, for me, a bit of an anticlimax. It just doesn't feel right, out of beat, missing the rythym, I dunno.
Too bad, because I think the first two parts are really, really good and really strong.
Good job though!
Too bad, because I think the first two parts are really, really good and really strong.
Good job though!